Open Discussion: So WHEN Is It Acceptable?
The internet is abuzz with news regarding the “accident” that left Tiger Woods’ with lacerations and his Escalade with over $5k worth of damage (click HERE if you missed it).
Now what has me a little confused is that some of the comments that I’ve seen both on the blog, on twitter and on OTHER people’s blog is the congratulations Tiger’s wife, Elin, is receiving for ‘giving him what he deserves’ with all considered. I find this quite interesting because many of the people who are hi-fiving Elin and giving her accolades for trying to take that club to Tiger’s head are the same ones who screamed that abuse on EITHER end of the Chris & Rihanna situation was wrong.
So I ask you…is abuse only acceptable when it’s “situational” (i.e., he/she cheated, he/she hit me first, etc)? How many of you feel that Tiger’s wife did the right thing in beating his a*s because he cheated? Would you feel the same if Tiger hit her BACK to defend himself? Please…post your thoughts!
Photo: @DollFaceBarbie of DollFaceBarbie.com
November 29th, 2009 at 1:58 am
i dont see the same amount of outrage that was focused around the chris brown incident
November 29th, 2009 at 1:59 am
I don' t think it's ever acceptable. People need to keep there hands to themselves, or realize that consequences will/ and or are likely to occur. We teach our children not to hit because it's wrong, so why as adults are we beating on each other? She's wrong for beating him regardless of what he did, if thats the case get a divorce and fight the prenup i'm sure there is a cheating clause.. Domestic violence is never the answer, whether it be the male or female doing the beating.
November 29th, 2009 at 2:00 am
I find it unacceptable on ALL accounts. There is no reason for you to put your hands on someone. Don't give something you will to take yourself. Mainstream not talking about it because Tiger has refused to embrace his black side.
November 29th, 2009 at 2:03 am
IMO….if you woman enough to throw a punch then you should be woman enough to take one. it goes for the man too. I argue with my man and no matter how mad I get I keep my hands to myself. Tiger's wife was wrong…..the double standard is crazy and it all needs to stop
November 29th, 2009 at 2:04 am
I won't lie, I did find it a bit amusing at first. I just would have never expected this type of drama to be surrounding Tiger Woods! The whole scenario is just ironic. However, you are absolutely right — there's been a clear double standard reaction to this story. Elin is lucky that she attacked a man who was disciplined enough not to grab that golf club from her & go upside HER head with it. Just imagine a reversed situation, Tiger would be locked up right now.
November 29th, 2009 at 2:12 am
its never acceptable….but i have to admit it was funny him being hit by his livelihood lol chris and rihanna situation was totally differnt for several reasons
1. they're both black(dont sleep)
2. the leaked photo(visuals aids always help a case)
3. they both were pop stars(so the stans fighting made it bigger)
4. it happened on grammy night
sidenote: the above photo is messing with my spirit as i type this….wish a nigga would
November 29th, 2009 at 2:14 am
Abuse of any kind, from either party, is indicative of a severely unhealthy relationship and is unacceptable. Period.
I don't think she should be praised, because what message does that send?? When a nigga steps out, its cool to tag that ass…. but he BETTA NOT touch yo ass when you fuck up?? Ch….. #idontseeit.
November 29th, 2009 at 2:20 am
Of course abuse on any level is never acceptable, but lets face it society sees the woman as a victim from all accounts. She is white, married rich, was being cheated on, and the whole aspect of Tiger (golden boy, rejected being referred to as only black). No, she will not be seen as an abuser, only as the abused who blacked out and had enough. What did everyone expect? Besides it has yet to be confirmed that she pulled an Angela Bassett on his ass!
November 29th, 2009 at 2:24 am
Nope it's not cool. Even if your partner cheats, you get the strength to leave them. Point blank period. Now, if she beats on his ass nonstop, he has the right to defend himself & have at it. I'm thinking when Chrianna did their thing, it was popular cuz they're a young and upcoming force to be reckoned with in music.
November 29th, 2009 at 2:36 am
I don't ever agree with domestic violence from either person in the situation. Truth is had Tiger responded he would have been hung QUICKLY. Similar to the Chris/Rihanna situation. People aren't willing to accept that we (women) can escalate a situation by acting out emotionally (which is wrong) and not be chastised but as soon as he responds–A great wrong has been committed.
It takes a man of great discipline not to defend himself when being attacked. She should not be congratulated for attempting to push him to the limit of destroying his reputation because he may have POSSIBLY cheated. Seriously.
November 29th, 2009 at 2:43 am
I Dont Think Domestic Violence Is Acceptable Either Way…People Need To Stop Taking Situations Like This Lightly.. People Are Killed Everyday From Domestic Violence..
November 29th, 2009 at 2:52 am
No, its not right. However, Tiger thinks that white women are better, look bettwe and act better. Its just hard for me to have sympathy for him being a black woman myself.
November 29th, 2009 at 2:52 am
The tigerwoodswife tweets are disgusting and serve only to signify the excusing away of violence at the hands of females that exist in our society. I have worked for years trying to shed light on domestic violence, to give voice to the survivors who often times can't find the voice to speak up for themselves and it's disturbing that so many persons would think this is comical. If we do not strive to help ALL persons who are abused, we lessen the ability to help any persons…as it puts out a message that abuse should still be a secret.
November 29th, 2009 at 2:52 am
Pardon me, I meant "look better."
November 29th, 2009 at 3:02 am
So, Tess, you think that because he married outside of his race, then he deserves to be assaulted? Is that true in EVERY case? If it were a black woman beaten by her white husband…a Puerto Rican woman abused by her black husband… a Chinese man beaten by his Swedish wife your child abused by their spouse… *blank eyed stare* whomEVER it is that is in an interracial marriage… would deserve no sympathy when abused? That's asinine.
November 29th, 2009 at 3:04 am
I feel that domestic violence is unacceptable, but at the same time, what can be done about people who abuse each other emotionally? Cheating is doing just that, it causes deep emotional pain. No one is legally punished for it, it's like they get away with causing mental and emotional anguish. And the person who's being cheated on and being made a fool of….they just have to get over it, right? Even though those scars and wounds (though not visible to the eye) last and hurt a lot longer and have greater lasting effects.
I feel like people that cheat need to realize the consequences of their actions. We are only human, and human beings snap when they are deeply hurt.
November 29th, 2009 at 3:09 am
Abuse should never be acceptable in any situation. If things are that bad then you need to leave. Tiger's wife was completely outta line for that foolishness and I will NOT applaud her for that mess. Had he popped her lil ass back then he would've been the bad guy but it's okay for her to whip his ass-NO! I applaud him for being strong enough to not hit her back cause though I do NOT condone domestic violence I do agree with Stephanie that if she was woman enough to be throwing hits then she should've been prepared to take a few. I do NOT agree with his wife's actions and if he had popped her lil ass back I would NOT feel sorry for her ass. Keep ya hands to ya damn self!
November 29th, 2009 at 3:10 am
Race shouldn't have anything to do with this situation. Abuse is ABUSE! No matter if Tiger was dating a white woman…if that is who he prefers why say that he deserves to get his ass whooped over his dating preferences? The father of my child is from Russia, there fore making him white. So if he ever put his hands on me would i deserve it cause I didn't stick to my own color? How can people say that?
I think that some black women think this situation is hilarious cause of the fact that they are salty that he isn't interested in black women and he wont claim his own race. We cant have this double standard cause if you have a daughter, niece,little cousin,sister, or any young girl that looks up to you and you instill that kind of attitude in her head, she is going to think it is ok to hit men cause she is a woman. Then one day she is going to get in the wrong man's face and he is going to REALLY hurt her, or WORSE.
I just hope that people can take this situation more seriously. Cause it maybe comedy for you, but deadly to someone who is actually going through it.
November 29th, 2009 at 3:59 am
Its not right in either case who performs the abusive act. I firmly believe in "Don't touch me,unless you're prepared to get touch", however in these situations that are thrown in the public arena like Chris and Rihanna I feel it's not my business,I wasn't there, I don't know the details so I don't feel affected by it. If they didn't like their relationship situation, you got two feet and a brain. Walk away!
November 29th, 2009 at 4:10 am
damn he told you all of that? smh
November 29th, 2009 at 4:23 am
there are so many arguments one could make relating to this ordeal. i, personally, don't condone domestic violence or physical abuse, & i strongly believe that it isn't right fa either the male or the female in a relationship to beat on the other person. however, i also feel that if a person is being attacced, he/she has the right to defend his/herself. my question, however, is when did cheating or violating the trust in a relationship become a cause or a reason fa you to put ya hands on someone? "ohh, you cheated on me… so now, i'm gonna beat ya face in." doing that doesn't change the situation. HE STILL CHEATED ON YOU! *sigh* i just don't get ppl these days…
November 29th, 2009 at 5:30 am
If She was a black woman this ordeal would be so very different. She shouldn't be getting any high fives because putting your hand on anyone is just not right. If he had hit her back we would all be like He is a women beater. I give him a high five for just trying to get away from her.
November 29th, 2009 at 7:02 am
Fudge that… Keep your hands to your damn self!
Didn't everyone learn that in Kindergarten?
Now even though I cannot stand Tiger Woods, and I mean I dislike that mofo with a passion, but had he beat the brakes off HER… His ass would be in jail. God forbid you put your hand on a white woman, a black man especially.
November 29th, 2009 at 7:52 am
Its ignorant and highly immature for ANYONE to solve disputes by getting physical with people. are you 5? Its just wrong either way. And its wrong for people to laugh when its been done to a man… its not funny. its just as serious. its the same amount of negative energy poured into the universe. there is NOTHING funny about violence on any level.
November 29th, 2009 at 8:18 am
Its wrong on both ends. Jia, it was only a few weeks ago when you posted the episode from the Tyra show about women that abuse their men. There are pleanty of men in relationships like this, they get pushed to the edge and when they fight back everyone wants to jump on his case. Its still abuse no matter who is dishing out the pain. If someone makes you that to the point where you have to put your hands on that person, then you dont need to be with them. The shit aint working out so let it go.
November 29th, 2009 at 3:34 am
I'm so sick of this double standard bullshit! i just saw some of the comments of all these women "L.O.L"ing and congratulating her. these are the same women that wanted to hang chris brown! this women sided society is pathetic!
November 29th, 2009 at 3:57 am
Domestic Violence isn't cool either way. Both women AND men are victims. If he would've hit her back out of self-defense he would've been "wrong", especially since he's in the public eye. I honestly wish these couples would get it together.
November 29th, 2009 at 11:48 am
u r gay
November 29th, 2009 at 11:59 am
shut up
November 29th, 2009 at 12:01 pm
eww i can smell u a mile away
November 29th, 2009 at 12:38 pm
ree_cee. I can just assume that you're not black, so you don't know where I am coming from. My ass is black so if you think its assinine- then I don't care because you are not important to my world or thought process.
November 29th, 2009 at 12:42 pm
That is my point exactly and don't you think for one minute that he didn't look at that black body of his and jack rabbit his ass out of there so fast that he couldn't drive right! Ya'll know what's up.
November 29th, 2009 at 1:37 pm
Hell o it's not cool either way, but we r animals. I don't know who's gettin off on this abuse shit, younger people maybe, regardless I hope public ass whoopins is not becoming a tv trend.
November 29th, 2009 at 1:56 pm
not only did she fugg him up, but she SMASHED HIS CAR WINDOW WITH A GOLF CLUB! why isnt she in jail? she damaged his property and his face but is telling the cops that "tiger is sleep, come back later?" that is the real issue. if officers suspect domestic disputes, they AUTOMATICALLY arrest the male, but she is home watching melrose place. women need to realize that our ovaries dont make us victims. The emotional abuse from cheating is horrible, but does that justify a throatchop? no! the ppl have hanged chris brown but are high fiving this girl. they wanna skin CB the oversized kid, but salute the grown ass vanilla woman. keep your hands to yourselves ppl
November 29th, 2009 at 2:15 pm
I follow sports very closely and I have never heard of Tiger denying he is Black,if I recall I think he was saying that he was Black,White and Asian to acknowledge his Mother,which I understand.If anything we should be getting on Black Folk who are claiming to be Half-Indian or Puerto Rican when they show no features of those ethnic groups at all.
But anyway,I admit it is not acceptable for anybody to hit another unwarranted.But I do commend Tiger for not hitting her and trying to get away,because if he did ,the revolution would have started…I know I don't want to see another Black Man in the news for a situation that could have been prevented,even if he is only 1/2 Black.
November 29th, 2009 at 4:39 pm
I find it comical how so many 'proud of their heritage' black people got such a problem with Tiger acknowledging ALL of his heritages. So because he appears as strictly Black, he has to say he's strictly Black even though he's not?
But anyway, nah the shit ain't cool… funny that he got socked with a golf club of all things… but not cool. Definitely not something to be biggin' up the wife for. I really believe some women would even condone murder as an acceptable reaction to someone cheating… oh wait, I forgot.
-D!
November 29th, 2009 at 5:19 pm
Obviously, VIOLENCE is NEVER the answer, but in the real world, there are things women can do,men cannot do and vice-versa.
Women can hit the men and men cannot.
Men can be the ONLY bread winner but women cannot
Women can wear men clothing and look sexy but men cannot
the list goes on and on
Until, men and women are treated equally, then society would continue to laugh at Tiger and abuse Chris, because the ONLY thing different between the two cases it that Tiger DID NOT HIT BACK, he left the house.
November 29th, 2009 at 6:05 pm
lol @ Watching Melrose Place..haha
I know this is not a laughing matter but no one was there besides these two individuals. Even though it's being stated that she beat his ass, how does the public know for sure. Maybe she was defending herself and chasing him out of their house…I'm just saying. Hopefully they work this out and the media stays out of it!!!
November 29th, 2009 at 6:14 pm
well what do you expect the "jumpoff" to say?
if the wife could beat down tiger with a golf stick, what do you think she would do to the mistress?
the whore is scared SHITLESS.
the "jumpoff" is known to be sleeping with married celebrity men.
November 29th, 2009 at 9:34 pm
I dont think its that serious as to debate the light skinned dark skinned issue. I think with Ike and Tina's situation it had more to do with the time period they were in. Back then women didnt really have rights and it was common for a man to slap his woman every once in a while. No one batted an eye because it was common. But its different now because women dont have to put up with the same shit we did back then.
November 29th, 2009 at 9:57 pm
as a black woman i have to disagree….even if he doesnt date black it doesnt change the fact of who he is, one of the most richest, most famous athletes of today..he represents us on a larger scale, so i feel for him
November 29th, 2009 at 5:50 pm
Got it all wrong D – You probably would never understand how we feel because you are not a black woman. The race issue comes into play because Tiger shows he has no concern for black women so its kinda hard to be feeling for him and his white women domestic violence problem
November 29th, 2009 at 6:06 pm
You know what? I was wondering the same thing. My thoughts are; they're not blowing this Tiger woods story out of proportion EITHER because she's white OR because he's a man. Either way it is messed up. The way they blew the Rihanna/Chris story up they should do the same to this story. Domestic Violence is NOT acceptable in any situation. Also, the sad thing is the "jumpoff" is saying that she was not in a sexual relationship with Tiger Woods.
November 29th, 2009 at 11:24 pm
to become physical is a means of no self control..its never ok to place ones hands upon another person regardless of how angry you are..you HAVE to maintain control..its hard..it IS just as serious when its done to a man because you NEVER know what someone will do in response to you losing it..its just wrong on so many levels
November 30th, 2009 at 12:24 am
AND SO IS YOUR UNCLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
November 30th, 2009 at 12:32 am
The tweets are not disgusting, this is an open discussion. People know where to get help if they are abused. Hopefully, they will not run into someone as judgmental as you are. People use comedy to express their opinions & not everyone on here is trying to diminish the affects of domestic violence. Get a clue and more domestic violence counseling training. The last thing that victims need is a judgmental 'ish.
November 29th, 2009 at 7:51 pm
Why didn't anybody examine Ike & Tina's situation like this?
We found out Ike beat her and he was reminded of it for the rest of his life. How come when Chris did it people want to have a debate and actually discuss it? Is it because he's light skinned and Ike was dark skinned? Had Omarion, Mario, or Tyrese done it we all would've sent them down the river. I'm just saying…
November 30th, 2009 at 1:01 am
Coming from a woman – I just wanna say that some of these women these days better hope I never have a son, because I'mma let you know right now….Bottom freakin line….If you put your hands on my son, you will get F*CKED UP! I don't give a f*ck if you are a female. F*ck that sh*t.
I know how "SOME" women are….The type of broads that like 2 take advantage of men "Who don't hit women." They'll hit him "Every chance they get," because they know he won't hit them back (like that chick on tyra). WELL NOT MY SON B*TCHES!!!! Don't get it twisted, I'm def gonna teach my son that hitting any1 is WRONG, especially women…….Unless they hit you 1st, then by all means….Don't come crying 2 me about what my son did 2 u, when u know u hit him 1st, because I'll be quick 2 let a b*tch know….B*tch, I taught him that!
I know this will probably get deleted, but oh what the hell….I'm just keeping it 100!
November 30th, 2009 at 4:39 am
When I heard of the news about him cheating. My thoughts were a little pass the abuse. It was more along the lines of the relationship. Why can't people (male and female) just be faithful if they have decided to get married. The abuse is bad yes but the marriage and the family is what's in real danger…that's my two cent Jia. Good Post!
Sincerely,
Go
November 30th, 2009 at 5:33 am
i agree 100%! my son will know, WHOEVER puts they hands on you betta get slapped back!
November 30th, 2009 at 12:09 pm
[...] Is there a double standard when it comes to domestic abuse? Why is it funny when Tiger Woods has lacerations to the face allegedly caused by his wife? Join the discussion…[Miss Jia] [...]
December 1st, 2009 at 1:10 am
TIGER SAID THAT HE WOULD NEVER DATE BLACK WOMEN AND THEN THIS HAPPENS 2 HIM…HELL YEAH HE DESERVES IT!!!
December 1st, 2009 at 6:06 am
Whatever, I don't feel sorry for Tiger. For one, he didn't give a sista a chance. He went straight to the white girl. He denies part of his hertiage and I think that is sad. Now he see that people are people no matter what color. Just like that white girl beat his azz, a sista would have done the same. It doesn't make it right but because of his arrogant, conceited ways, he deserved it.
December 1st, 2009 at 9:19 am
my thoughts exactly!!!!!!
i find it funny that people are defending tigers wife for going off, kicking his ass and then going barry bonds on him with a golf club yet people are condemning Chris brown for his assault of rihanna. It just goes to show that domestic abuse is only considered to be wrong when the woman is considered the victim; violence of any kind is unacceptable.
the media is only flocking to rihanna’s side because she’s female. there were reports of her kicking his ass for 2 years before the incident back in february and no one cared. I’m not saying what he did is right but there is no way that she is innocent of any wrong doing. even still she only waited to do the interview for publicity because it coincided with her album release and her album still flopped in the U.S. AND the U.K. i guess all those interviews she did bashing chris and trying to gain publicity for the album failed.
plus she’s admitted to violence before, including an interview in which she admits to smashing her own brother in the face with a glass bottle. if that’s not a sign i don’t know what is.
December 1st, 2009 at 6:12 am
Oh well, I still say that's what the hell he get and more power to that white girl -she just like any other women with an attitude. He thought he was getting something and saying something when he denied his race. Big deal-she should have put a hole in his head. Maybe he will stop being racist against his own race.
December 1st, 2009 at 2:23 pm
This denying heritage nonsense makes no sense in this open discussion since it has nothing to do with the topic at hand, but this is like a discussion during the family reunion when everybody tryna get their 2 cents in…
Jia, abuse in most occurrences is "situational" from the perspective of the abuser. The abuser may think that if he/she didn't do that I wouldn't have hit him/her and this can go for a variety of scenarios.
December 19th, 2009 at 6:33 pm
Good points raised Jia! MIMISAYZSO!
December 20th, 2009 at 3:01 am
@INK, PREACH!!!!
December 20th, 2009 at 3:15 am
Okay B!tch….Let'em know!!!!….
December 21st, 2009 at 5:40 am
Personally, no matter what happens, you shouldn't put your hands on them, nor have an object do it for you. I even think provoking it is wrong, too, but if can give it, you gotta be able to take it, too. People these days need to have their asses back to kindergarten.
Personally, Tiger's situation would have been what Chris's situation was if he walked away. Seriously.
But it is two words: double standards. It's a very evil and unequal world these days.
March 16th, 2010 at 4:26 pm
Just sad.
April 16th, 2010 at 1:51 am
I dont think that abuse is ok in any situation, but my thoughts are if shes ready to hit him like a man she should be ready to get hit like a man. Some dudes (most dudes, especially the young ones) dont know how to control their reflexes, so when they are hit without warning their reaction is to clock back. Being cheated on does not give the right to attack someone even though the immediate emotion is anger. So tiger's wife was wrong!!!!!
May 2nd, 2010 at 11:27 pm
Exactly. She was wrong for trying to fight this man, but that doesn't mean that he was off the hook though. I'm over that situation anyways.