Archive for the ‘Love, Miss Jia’ Category

I really want you to be a bit more careful now that you’re carrying a baby. Although the fall isn’t as bad as the chick on Twitter who was trying to sell the footage others made it out to be, still. Just be careful.

Love,

Miss Jia

Dear Kat Stacks,

I am all about supporting the movement of the free spirits but this sh-t is getting out of hand. You’re in Atlanta getting got almost everywhere you go and instead of doing the sensible thing (which would be going home to be with your child), you go through what’s seen in the video and make THIS REBUTTAL like none of that matters. At what point does one realize when a crowd of people is laughing AT you and not WITH you?

You’re treading in some dangerous waters, mama. All these people who you’re hanging with who act as though they have your back are only keeping you around for show. But at the end of it all, what do YOU have to show for it?

Love,

Miss Jia

Dear Chris Brown,
In spite of what many friends, family members and fans may tell you, Graffiti really did suck. The fact that you’re still acting surprised that no one wants to give the record any spins is unbelievable to me. Although many of your fans have turned a blind eye to the ‘situation’ between you and your former boo thang, Rihanna, there are still quite a few who haven’t INCLUDING (but not limited to) radio station employees, listeners and their sponsors. No need in acting like a diva about it. Tuck your nuts and keep it moving. Outbursts like THIS won’t help the situation at all.

Love,

Miss Jia

Props to Sam I Am

Dear Lauryn Hill (aka L-Boogie, bka Where the HELL have you been?),

It’s great to see that you’re still amongst us since we haven’t seen you in forever! You look great and I’m happy to see you back on the scene. However, I am requesting that you put out an album IMMEDIATELY! The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill changed my whole thought process on the music industry and made for some wonderful nights in my college dorm room, especially that duet with D’Angelo. We need you, man! Please tell me that the rock you slid from under is equipped with a damn recording studio and you’ll be dropping an album SOON? I’ll gladly collect some coins via paypal on your behalf to ensure that it happens!

Love,

Miss Jia

More pics after the break!
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Dear Kid Cudi,

I received this pic a couple days ago and wasn’t gonna say anything. But now that this pic has somehow found its way back to me (thanks @ThisIsJanero), I feel that it’s absolutely necessary to let you know one thing…you ain’t from Scotland. You ain’t Irish. So your little fashion statement’s only purpose is a plea for glitter. Stand back while I sprinkle.

Although I am a bit miffed by the whole skinny jeans epidemic (because some people…including YOU…take sh*t a little bit too far), I wanted to be the first one to personally thank you for showing the kids that it’s okay to break away from the jeans where you can see your heart beating through your balls and simply let your nuts hang. I guess…

Love,

Miss Jia

There’s a whole lotta glitter on that there stage. You guys can catch Cudi’s performance with John Legend below. I really hope that this style doesn’t catch on. Really…

Dear Mel B.,

Just say NO to the rejected pile of the Kim Zolciak wig collection. That is all.

Love,

Miss Jia

Photos: Bauer-Griffin

Dear Trey Songz,
Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for featuring a beautiful brown skinned model who appears to have NATURAL, BEAUTIFUL hair in your upcoming video, Invented Sex! Love you for that! I’m sure that in addition to helping to instill some pride in some of the natural chicas of the world, you’ll also make many women’s (and men’s) loins swell with lustful thoughts and delight at the finished product. Yes indeed!

Love,

Miss Jia

Props to LEG100680

Dear BSB,
So, I am online, minding my business & playing Literati on a Friday (because I have NO life) when I receive a message from one of my followers on Twitter stating that you guys somehow thought that it was a good idea to remake my ABSOLUTE MOST FAVORITE SONG EVER, Don’t Disturb This Groove by The System.

I should hire somebody to send the WHOLE GROUP a package of swine flu for that sh*t! Listen, there are two things that in life that, according to yours truly, should never EVER be remade:

1. ANY Michael Jackson song (I don’t give a damn HOW talented you think you are, the King of Pop’s music should NEVER be touched) and

2. Don’t Disturb This Groove

You guys sound a sh*tty mess and I’m being generous in my statement. I am writing Youtube a separate letter asking that they REMOVE all forms of this remake, as it violates peen-al code #Jia-091296959. Don’t take it personal…

Sending roundhouse kicks to the vocal chords & balls,

Miss Jia

Click HERE to listen to the ORIGINAL!