*Please note that the opinions reflected in the “Dear Celebrity” section may (or may not) be the opinion of Miss Jia! In other words….I DID NOT WRITE THIS or any Dear Celebrity letter to follow!
Dear Wendy Williams,
As a viewer with a Nielson scanner, you may be happy to know that I’ve recently started watching your show. You are not syndicated in my local market, but, unfortunately for me, I can view you on Barely Eye-worthy Television. During my viewings, I had a few alarming, rather concerning observations.
Aside from tantrum throwing, toddler children and the sound of tattoo guns, there may be nothing more annoying than the sound of your voice. I’ve learned that you were a radio personality prior to your stint as a “talk show host,” which is really confusing considering I’m not sure that you’ve mastered the phonetics of the alphabet. Maybe my southern disposition makes me biased towards your heinous northern accent, but it is surely unpleasant. Every time you say you’re coined catchphrase “how yoo dew-in?” or “how are you doing?,” as people with respect for English would say, I fear a puppy loses it’s owner or, worse, someone buys a Lil Flip album.
Secondly, you are horribly mean-spirited. This may seem like a contradiction given the tone of this letter, but while I highlight the concerns of the cable watching populace, you shade the hands that feed you. Your unoriginal “Hot Topics” are basically seven-minute shade segments. This would be well and good if the people you were bashing weren’t potential guests. The way you carried on about Beyonce’s pregnancy, giving possible explanations for her faking a pregnancy, and providing a demonstration of pregnant women sitting, was bizarre, and disrespectful to pregnant women everywhere. Not only do I feel certain that you know Beyonce isn’t faking a pregnancy, and that this segment was aired just to stir the pot, I also know that YOU KNOW the Creole witch doctors are probably plotting their revenge. Be careful next time you eat Jambalaya! There was probably a better chance of Hitler making it to Heaven than King B coming on your show anyway, but now that slight chance is a mere pipe dream.
Also, your style of interviewing makes me uncomfortable to watch. Recently you had one of the girls from Basketball Wives on. You not only grilled her about her past relationships, but essentially called her a Jezebel to her face. I only found this odd because weeks prior, Charlie Sheen was a guest, and despite his shenanigans over the past year, you weren’t nearly as disrespectful to him as you were to her. I can only assume that because you deemed her sexually promiscuous, she was an easy target for below the belt Q&A. Maybe they didn’t teach you in J-school or radio hosting college, but making a shady statement in an inquisitive tone is not actually asking a question.
Finally, consider the following:
I’m sure there’s a way that you could look less brutish, I haven’t figured it out yet, but I know it’s possible. Maybe lean back in your chair more and don’t wear clothing that accentuate your shoulders.
Please stop talking about your wigs. We get it: fake hair, don’t care. But I care not to watch you tug on it, play with it, or converse about it as much as you do.
So until you work on the above, there’s a better chance of me drinking a Pine-Sol piña colada than watching your show again.
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